1. Every morning the first thing you do is check your phone for transfer news.
2. You sneer at people in the park who are sunbathing on your hallowed Sunday League turf.
3. You find yourself sitting at the pub on weekends and you're not really sure why.
4. It's been so long since you've seen a match you've even considered watching MLS games...well, almost.
5. You haven't changed out of your team kit since last season. Your co-workers are starting to complain about the stink.
6. Your life has a huge hole in it and everything seems meaningless and boring.
7. Even your telly seems depressed.
8. Wimbledon, Tour de France, Lions, Ashes - all great sporting occasions, but they just don't do it for you.
9. Havearsenalspentanymoneyyet.com is the homepage on your browser.
10. You've taken up cleaning your flat to pass the time and it is now spotless as ever.
11. You find yourself watching the EastEnders Omnibus to fill the void left by Jeff Stelling and the boys.
And you nearly weep when you realize you are not alone.
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