How Online Dating Feels For Bisexual People

What part of “no couples” do people not understand?

1. Your friends have all coupled off, so you decide it’s time to turn to the world wide web in search of love.

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2. You quickly pick one website out of the endless options.

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3. And whip up a super normal *yet creative and unique* profile.

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4. But, here comes the hard part…

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5. What do you list yourself as?

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6. Deciding honesty is the best policy, you list “bisexual” and you’re feeling awesome about it.

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7. Besides completely butchering the first few conversations, things are going OK!

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8. That’s when the bizarre threesome requests start rolling in.

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9. Or even worse, someone you were into reveals they are actually in a relationship looking for a third.

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10. You respect all things freaky, but it’s just not what you’re looking for right now.

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11. And if you see one more message from a couple…

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12. Did they not see you explicitly list “no couples” on your profile?

Eyes people, use them.

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13. You soon realize that because you’re listed as bisexual, some of the gays won’t give you the time of day.

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14. And, not trying to be paranoid, but you’re almost positive none of the straight people are either.

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15. Enough is enough, you decided to change your tactics.

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16. You figure having two separate profiles will sort things out.

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17. The messages start rolling in.

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18. Now completely addicted, you find yourself checking your profile on an hourly basis.

Instant self-esteem boost.

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19. But you constantly feel the dread of having to later “come out” as bi and deal with the unforeseeable reactions.

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20. You grow increasingly angry at how complicated life seems.

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21. And you swear off online dating forever.

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22. Until the very next day, when you get right back up on that horse.

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23. Because you never know, your special someone could be waiting out there.

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Sarah Karlan is the Deputy LGBT Editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Sarah Karlan at
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