1. Your friends have all coupled off, so you decide it’s time to turn to the world wide web in search of love.
3. And whip up a super normal *yet creative and unique* profile.
5. What do you list yourself as?
6. Deciding honesty is the best policy, you list “bisexual” and you’re feeling awesome about it.
7. Besides completely butchering the first few conversations, things are going OK!
9. Or even worse, someone you were into reveals they are actually in a relationship looking for a third.
10. You respect all things freaky, but it’s just not what you’re looking for right now.
11. And if you see one more message from a couple…
12. Did they not see you explicitly list “no couples” on your profile?
Eyes people, use them.
13. You soon realize that because you’re listed as bisexual, some of the gays won’t give you the time of day.
14. And, not trying to be paranoid, but you’re almost positive none of the straight people are either.
18. Now completely addicted, you find yourself checking your profile on an hourly basis.
Instant self-esteem boost.
19. But you constantly feel the dread of having to later “come out” as bi and deal with the unforeseeable reactions.
20. You grow increasingly angry at how complicated life seems.
21. And you swear off online dating forever.
22. Until the very next day, when you get right back up on that horse.
- Three major U.S. airlines — Delta, American, and United — have banned the transport of big game trophies after the illegal killing of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe.
- On August 4th, 2011, the death of Mark Duggan — an unarmed black man — at the hands of police officers in north London sparked nationwide riots.
- Two people were killed and at least 22 injured after a circus tent collapsed amid stormy weather Monday evening in New Hampshire.