An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased My Son Out Of The Men’s Bathroom

“I just want to start by applauding your decision to shout at us right off the bat. For one thing, how else will we learn? For another, how else will we be covered in spittle?” A mother responds to the man who chased her son out of a men’s room after mistaking him for a girl. (Via: Ben & Birdy)

I know, right? Now tell your friends!
An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased My So...
Sarah Karlan

2.


This week we’ve seen several examples of parents not just accepting or tolerating their queer kids, but being their allies. Here a mother defends her son with an open letter:

I just want to start by applauding your decision to shout at us right off the bat. “She was in the men’s room! Your daughter was in the men’s room! A girl in the men’s room!” For one thing, how else will we learn? For another, how else will we be covered in spittle? Plus, I think it’s good, if you see something unexpected, to proceed with violent certainty rather than with, say, wonder or even doubt. Like the time I found that slightly darker “O” in my bowl of Cheerios and freaked out because I knew for sure that it was a wheel from the landing gear of a miniature UFO that was going to abduct me and probe my anus; if it were cereal, it would look like the rest of the cereal. Likewise, if you see a doll with short hair, even if it’s lying next to a pair of scissors, you should think, “Ew. When did Ken’s boobs get so big?”

It made sense, too, to continue to insist that he was a girl, even after he calmly explained that he had been in the men’s room because he was a boy. (“It’s Ken! But Ken has boobs!”) And your distress over imagining that a preadolescent girl saw your man parts—“I was naked in there! She saw me naked!”—makes such an important point about the prevalence of peeping-Tommery in young girls, and the ways that middle-aged men are vulnerable to them.

To answer your question, “Are you its mom?” more unambiguously: Yes. But you’re smart to ask, because maybe the whole family is a transgendered house of mirrors and I’m really “its” dad! (Last laugh—i.e. my having it—alert!) Certainly, though, it made a lot of sense to imagine that I had colluded in the perversion of sending a girl into the men’s room because, after all, what parent doesn’t want their daughter to be in a tiled room full of urinating men?

In conclusion, thank you for your valuable input. I can only hope that my son will leave behind his girly days of placid confidence and grow into somebody as manly as you—with the kind of balls it takes to scream at a child in public.

Yours truly,
It’s Mother

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    12 Responses So Far

    • kt42 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Trjgul   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Win & LOL  about a month ago
    • rachelj8   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • Sunebodo thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Xenvrae   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Win  about a month ago
    • BURNBALL   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Win  about a month ago
    • pengwen   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s LOL & Win  about a month ago
    • andrewa10   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • MeinStern thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • dancer9040 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win, OMG & Trashy  about a month ago
    • Will Jones a month ago

      #Takethingsoutofcontextandblowthemupfeed

    • Liz H.   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • Bazzerby thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • misskerriann   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • AlejandraVC thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • nancyc15 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • carolw10 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is OMG  about a month ago
    • katherinejoyce96 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • DaniVendetta thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • HBNole thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Jaryak a month ago

      Wow, all it would take for some of the people commenting on this article to do is look at the blog that the letter came from. The boy in question is a VERY YOUNG boy with long hair. No more, no less. This has nothing to do with transgendered youth or anything of the sort. There are some ridiculous comments on this article that really make me question the future of society’s ability to not be complete douches… especially in the Facebook comments. Do some research before condemning a situation you clearly know nothing about or being a complete DICK for no reason. Thanks.

      • Jane Doe a month ago

        Thank goodness I thought I was the only one with this thought. Due to all the comments about “transgendered youth” (to quote you) I was so sure that I missed something. I agree, this has absolutely nothing to do with being transgendered, it’s just that when kids are toddlers they quite a bit more similar than when they are teens or adults! People have to stop forcing everything to relate back to today’s “hot topics” and controversies.

    • sushiroll13   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Win  about a month ago
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    • happycyclopskitty thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Fail  about a month ago
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    • lesliesaldivar820 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • jessicalynl thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
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    • tarae4 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • elvisdepressley thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win & WTF  about a month ago
    • Pack thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • carolo thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is OMG  about a month ago
    • shepucky a month ago

      Way to go, Mom!

    • amy swiney   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Cute & Win  about a month ago
    • mikoalanguyen thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • ajcanty2   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Win  about a month ago
    • HennievanD   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s Win & LOL  about a month ago
    • mnemeth   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • Djurcinovska a month ago

      Little boys with long hair can easily get mistaken for girls even dressed as boys……do we remember young Taylor Hanson?…..

    • ellimac21   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • sarahl60   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • silverhellion thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Okaaykay   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • Victoria Helton   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • nikkin2   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • joannaj2   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • Nena001   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • alyssam10 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Kittyofthecity   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • Amarieza   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s OMG  about a month ago
    • davidvizcarramcm   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... and thinks it’s WTF & Win  about a month ago
    • anniechangb thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is OMG  about a month ago
    • emilya20 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Mojogoing a month ago

      This isn’t about a transgender child, this is about an asshole in a bathroom. The letter even says the kid identified himself as a boy.

    • agarciah   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • patticake1601   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • rke3 thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Courtney Mastin thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • NoBigDealItsFreel   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • SoleSolidarity a month ago

      There is a difference between sex and gender. But if it’s a male bathroom and you are dressed like a girl someone’s going to say something, sure the guy was over the top. But if I went into the women’s restroom dressed as a man saying my gender was female I would certainly get yelled at and kicked out, hell the police might even get involved.

    • brantleyy thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Xinhful   An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ...  about a month ago
    • LegendOfBacon thinks An Open Letter To The Guy Who Chased ... is Win  about a month ago
    • Mojogoing a month ago

      I don’t see where the mother says her kid is anything but a boy who this idiot mistook for a girl. She even says the kid told the man I am a boy. This isn’t about gender or sexuality, this is about an idiot in a bathroom.

    • Rita Cheng a month ago

      You know, it doesn’t say anywhere that the kid is transgendered. To the defenders of the guy: would you feel the same way if it was a feminine boy? Trans issues don’t effect just people who are transgendered, but they’re important for anybody who don’t fit strictly into either gender role.

    • jennag8 a month ago

      If you did your research you’d find her son is a six year old biological boy. Not a trans kid.

    • CallMeSean a month ago

      I am prepared to live, die, and kill for my family. He would have met the floor, quickly, before we talked.

    • jaber gawker 2 months ago

      Yeah, these kinds of stories are getting annoying. The world at large isn’t going to and doesn’t have to accept the notion that gender is identity rather than dominantly being biological. It’s also becoming slightly bewildering the way that trans ideology is being forced onto the rest of the gay community - who don’t necessarily agree - after we fought for decades to be able to, you know, love members of the same sex. And now we’re being told that, oh, well gender is just identity and biological sex doesn’t have anything to do with gender, so if someone identifies as male or female, then their identity is the sole basis of their designation. What does this do to the idea of male space, female space? What does this do to gay MALE space, or women-only spaces? Lesbian space? And yes, in all of these instances I mean “cisgender” men and women - now that trans-ideology apparently gets to group all non-trans associations with biological sex under one umbrella.

    • Michael Broder 2 months ago

      The letter itself is fun to read but I would love to see more context about who this child is and what the circumstances of his transition are. And also what’s his response to the whole situation, the episode in the bathroom, as well as his mom’s response to it, as well as the whole thing being publicized (not just reported on, but made very public) on BuzzFeed.

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