25 Things You Will Only Understand If You’ve Dated Someone In The Closet

You’re in a relationship, with none of the perks of being in a relationship. Let the roller coaster of emotions begin.

1. Feeling like a crazy person most of the time. All of the time. Always.

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2. Not being able to kiss in public.

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3. Or even hold hands.

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4. Making it Facebook official? Out of the question.

It’s not that important, you don’t need — shut up, it is everything.

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5. Watching your girlfriend or boyfriend tell someone they are single — right in front of you.

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6. And get hit on — right in front of you.

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7. Convincing yourself the situation doesn’t bother you one bit.

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8. Mastering the swift exit when you get hit on yourself.

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9. Suffering from constant paranoia that EVERYONE knows.

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10. The complete terror that grips you when one of you nearly lets the cat out of the bag.

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11. Being in a relationship, but being unable to share it with other special people in your life.

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12. So you’re technically “single” — with none of the perks of being single.

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13. Trying to convince yourself that you don’t need people to know in order to validate your relationship.

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Because when you’re alone together, it feels like everything is perfect.

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14. Complaining about couples’ PDA…

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…when you’re really just insanely jealous they can even be that way.

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15. Having to be introduced to their family as “just a friend.”

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16. Knowing that public over-the-top romantic gestures aren’t allowed.

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17. Becoming a master of going on “secret dates” and avoiding people you know.

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18. Having all your friends think you’re becoming an antisocial hermit, when you’re really just staying in with your significant other.

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19. Having to lie about where that hickey came from.

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20. Having your friends, parents, and grandparents ask why you’re not seeing anyone.

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21. And in response, totally lying through your teeth.

Over and over and over again.

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22. Having the situation mess with your head so much, you start to question the relationship.

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23. Becoming that clingy needy person you NEVER wanted to be.

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24. Having to keep the insane amount of emotions running through your head bottled up inside.

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25. Knowing that for better or worse…you would probably do it all over again.

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Sarah Karlan is the Deputy LGBT Editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Sarah Karlan at
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