If there is one question that lesbian couples really don't have time for anymore, it's this one:
(Feel free to substitute in "man," "dude," "husband," etc.)
Here are a few simple responses to shut the question down:
1. (Audibly gasp and turn to your partner) "Are you a man? I thought I was gay?!"
2. "Usually we just do rock-paper-scissors for it. Today I lost."
3. "You mean who wears the pants? We prefer it when neither of us wear them."
4. Don't even let them finish their question.
5. Give "the look" to stop the conversation right there.
6. Whip out the dictionary and give them a quick vocabulary lesson:
7. Flip it.
8. Explain that there must be some sort of mistake:
9. "That's like asking which chopstick is the fork, you realize that – right?"
10. Or: "So, which part of this salad is the pork chop?"
11. "Oh, no. You've misunderstood. We're actually both beans."
12. Quickly explain that following the rules of a gender binary is incredibly dull and predictable before RIDING AWAY ON YOUR STALLION.
That's how it's done.
