Our Favorite LGBT Essays We Published This Year

Getting messaged by a childhood bully on a gay dating app. Navigating the dating scene as a black trans woman. Aspiring to motherhood. Saying goodbye to historic queer spaces. These, and more, are the powerful reflections in BuzzFeed LGBT's favorite essays of 2015.

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Expensive, Exhausting, And Deeply Unsexy: Babymaking While Queer — Lindsay King-Miller

Jenny Chang for BuzzFeed News

Trying to conceive can be difficult and emotionally draining for anyone. Lindsay King-Miller discovered that when you're part of a queer couple, the path to parenthood is all the more complicated.

Coming Out To My Exes As A Gay Trans Man — Anonymous

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

This writer chose to publish his essay anonymously "to protect the innocent, the guilty, and the terminally clueless" — that is, all of the men he'd been involved with, who then learned that he was not the straight girl they'd always thought he was.

Finding Happiness As A Trans Woman Of Color — Kai Cheng Thom

Ping Zhu for BuzzFeed News

Growing up, trans women of color like Kai Cheng Thom are taught to expect nothing but violence, rejection, and early death. In this essay, she finds gender euphoria against the odds through trans sisterhood — and by redefining her idea of happiness.

What I Learned From My Neuroatypical Partner — Meredith Talusan

Meredith Talusan / BuzzFeed News

Those who date neuroatypical people are often applauded for their charity, and the same is true for those who date trans people. Meredith Talusan, a trans woman whose partner is on the autism spectrum, doesn't see her relationship as charitable — she sees it, simply, as a product of love and companionship.

When A Lesbian Gets Sober — Courtney Gillette

Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Queer culture is soaked in alcohol. Courtney Gillette knew she had to quit drinking, but she feared losing the only identity she was sure of.

My Path To Trans Womanhood — Zoë Wilkinson Saldaña

Raphaëlle Martin for BuzzFeed News

When we think about trans parenthood, we tend to think about narratives of later-in-life transitioning parents like Caitlyn Jenner and Maura on Transparent. Zoë Wilkinson Saldaña, however, is planning for trans motherhood in the future, which is both scary and exhilarating.

When My Childhood Bully Hit Me Up On A Gay Dating App — John Paul Brammer

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John Paul Brammer, on a visit back home to rural Oklahoma, got messaged on Scruff by a guy from his past. He realized that perhaps not all childhood bullies are one-dimensional villains.

No, Queer Women Aren't "Just Experimenting" — Shannon Keating

Getty / Vogue / Instagram

Shannon Keating revisits multiple pop culture incidents in 2015 during which female queerness was continually qualified, belittled, and disbelieved.

The Transgender Dating Dilemma — Raquel Willis

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Raquel Willis is oftentimes relegated to the role of teacher and therapist in her dating life; not to mention, she sometimes fears for her safety. She writes about her search for love and connection in a world still hostile to black trans womanhood.

Self-Portrait Of The Artist As Ungrateful Black Writer — Saeed Jones

Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Saeed Jones vehemently rejects the notion that he should be "happy just to be here" when it comes to the ivory towers and glittering soirees of the literati, where racism still runs rampant.

Saying Goodbye To The Last Lesbian Bar In San Francisco — Lauren Tabak

Lauren Tabak

Lauren Tabak recounts her first visit to the Lexington, an iconic dyke club in San Francisco, as well as her last, when she captured the sights and sounds with a documentary film before it closed forever.

When A Queer Woman Counts Calories — Camille Beredjick

Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

Camille Beredjick thought being in love with a woman meant she was immune to patriarchal beauty standards. Turns out, her girlfriend didn’t prevent her from having an eating disorder, but she did help nourish her recovery.

How I Learned There's More Than One Way To Have Gay Sex — Nico Lang

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After he got diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, Nico Lang confronted the standards of gay male sex which privilege topping and bottoming. What he learned: anal isn't everything.

Why Won't Orange Is The New Black Acknowledge That Bisexuals Exist? — Anna Pulley

Netflix

Anna Pulley on the total lack of self-identified bisexuals on the latest season of OITNB, as well as television's aversion to the B-word at large.

I Didn't Always Know I Was Gay — Carmen Rios

Rachel Levit for BuzzFeed News

"I've always known." That's something shared among many gay people — that they can look back at their childhoods and pin down those earliest moments of queer curiosity and desire. That process of self-discovery was a little different for Carmen Rios.