Just A Reminder Lava Is A Real Thing And It Will Mess You Up

Just when you thought it was safe to go on vacation.

1. It might look pretty, but can we talk about how volcanoes are big ol’ mountains that are also openings into the fiery crust of the Earth?

natgeocreative.com / Via GEORGE STEINMETZ/ National Geographic Stock

A big portal leading into the hellish sub-surface of the Earth. We just accept that that’s a thing?

2. And sometimes volcanoes get grumpy so they explode and spew molten death sludge into the friggin’ sky.

 

3. But volcanoes are just the delivery method. The important part is nature’s “eff you” to everything green and alive: lava.

 

4. Lava starts off as magma beneath the surface of the earth. Waiting.

natgeocreative.com / Via CARSTEN PETER/ National Geographic Stock

Soon.

7. You might think lava is slow. Sure, sometimes it is.

 

8. But once it gets going, lava can flow up to 40 miles per hour. Which is damn fast for what’s basically a river of liquid fire.

PATRICK MCFEELEY/ National Geographic Stock

 

Part fire, part earth, 100% annihilation. Source.

9. Lava’s temperature ranges from 700 to 1,200°C, which converts to roughly YOU ARE DEAD AND ON FIRE degrees Fahrenheit.

natgeocreative.com / Via STEVE AND DONNA O’MEARA/ National Geographic Stock

10. When it’s done flowing and obliterating everything in its path, lava just…stops.

natgeocreative.com / Via Frans Lanting / Frans Lanting Stock/ National Geographic Stock

11. And just turns into a land mass wherever it damn well pleases.

natgeocreative.com / Via PETE RYAN/ National Geographic Stock

You can’t tell lava shit about where to solidify.

12. Or, you know. Destroys a city and kills thousands of people.

natgeocreative.com / Via MARDEN, LUIS/ National Geographic Stock

Sorry, Pompeii. Lava is a dick.

13. Lava also loves to bring its douchebag buddy volcanic ash to the party, who will be sure to try and fuck things up if magma didn’t get the job done.

natgeocreative.com / Via KLAUS NIGGE/ National Geographic Stock

Technically certain kinds of volcanic ash are called “tephra,” but let’s be real, that sounds more like a font name than murder-smoke.

14. And it’s not like volcanic eruptions are a one-and-done. Volcanoes can be active for centuries, even millennia.

natgeocreative.com / Via ALLEN, WILLIAM L./ National Geographic Stock

But don’t worry. Only like, 500,000,000 people live near active volcanoes. No biggie.

15. So just remember, you live in a world where this crazy bullshit happens on the reg.

natgeocreative.com / Via PETER, CARSTEN/ National Geographic Stock

Maybe skip the tropical vacation and go camping instead.

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