2. “I’m checking her Facebook favorites. We’re gonna make her a mixtape.”
3. “Hello did you know that my friend is studying to be a doctor he is going to help children he is very smart you should meet him wait hello come back…”
5. “Really, if you can’t make a decent negroni, why would she even talk to you?”
7. “Take notice, man. Chicks dig rebels. Quick, find a sign.”
8. “I say we head down to the independent bookstore and ask that cute salesclerk for help.”
9. “And that’s how he saved my life. He’s really an incredible guy. You wouldn’t want his phone number, would you?”
10. “I told you this would be easier than trying to get abs.”
12. “Yes the shirt’s on purpose. You’ll look cooler by comparison.”
13. “I’ll play some music. Really set the mood.”
15. “We’re going to happy hour! Is this not how you dress for happy hour?”
16. “No, you can’t have your phone back. You text after two days. Not three hours. It’s the rules.”
18. “We literally could not look cooler right now. You’re welcome.”
19. “This is Carla. She recently got back from a trip abroad in Ecuador — you were thinking about going to Ecuador next spring, weren’t you?”
20. “Come on man! Six days a week until we get pecs. I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER.”
21. “OK, a think a couple of them are watching. Go for a long pass.”
Here Are The Top Stories
- President Obama addressed the 54-member African Union, a first for a sitting U.S. president. The speech marks the end of his historic five-day trip to East Africa.
- The Boy Scouts of America has ended its ban on gay leaders, two years after lifting a ban on gay youth members.
- Boston is no longer pursuing a bid to host the 2024 summer Olympics.
- The Arizona Cardinals have hired the NFL's first female coach.