1. You smell like dark-roasted sex after work.
2. The screech of coffee beans being ground has gone from "torture" to "I could fall asleep to this."
3. Whenever you're tired at work, free coffee is right there to revive you.
4. You get to be the fabled Cute Barista some of your customers swoon over.
5. Which means moves like this might actually result in a date:
6. You get to be a coffee snob in your own home.
7. Your refined palate can tell the difference between four pumps of hazelnut flavor syrup and three-and-a-half pumps.
8. You're a pro at (literally) not crying over spilled milk, even though it's sticky and gross and ugh I can't even.
9. The instant job gratification when your customers take the first sip of a job well done.
10. "Appropriate work attire" includes all manner of piercings, half-sleeve tattoos, and band T-shirts.
11. You get to make awesome tip jars.
Not to mention the tips themselves.
12. You can get creative experimenting with new types of drinks.
13. Espresso shots? Sure, let's DO this shit.
14. You don't trifle with that "grande" nonsense when you're out ordering your own coffee.
15. Memorizing regular customers' orders can totally make their day.
16. You can impress people with all your crazy foam-art skills.
17. You can properly distinguish between a latte and a cappuccino.
18. You develop a taste for more obscure drinks, like the painfully classy London fog.
19. Most importantly, you make a damn fine cup of coffee.
