1. This mouse rolled his li’l mouse eyes every time a lonely trumpet sounded.
2. This chipmunk knew he was in trouble right from the start, when the movie’s idea of an attention-grabbing opening scene was having a bunch of random guys recite the Gettysburg Address.
3. If these leopards had wanted to look at a diorama, they would’ve made one themselves.
4. This puppy thought there were going to be vampires.
“Abraham Lincoln: Amendment Passer”? No thanks.
6. This kitten has never seen a stiffer, more lifeless movie. Seriously, it was like reading a history textbook.
7. This hedgehog felt bad because America, but she just couldn’t.
8. This chimpanzee found the endless parade of name actors playing historical figures to be tedious.
Oh look. It’s James Spader. Yawn.