Can we talk about how France doesn't have peanut butter? Are you even real France? How do you enjoy your j without the pb? Need answers.
1. Peanut Butter
The average European eats less than 1 tablespoon of peanut butter a year. Because apparently they’re insane. PB is extremely difficult to find in Europe, and when you finally do, the store will probably have neither your preferred brand nor both crunchy and smooth options. Heartbreaking.
3. Hot Sauce
This is an issue of brand variety and availability. Any hot sauce lover knows that not just any old spicy substance will do.
The barely ripe, sour green things you might be able to find abroad don’t count.
6. Classic American Breakfast
7. Good BBQ
Missing barbecue is a serious condition. (If you begin to lose your mind a little, you could buy a slow cooker and make your own with this recipe. (If you can’t find liquid smoke just leave it out, or use this recipe.)
8. Gloriously Huge Fruit
THANK YOU, growth hormone.
You might think that everywhere in Europe would have this because it is still civilization, but you would be totally wrong. Restaurants with respectably large salad options are few and far between in Spain and France in particular. It’s not unheard of for ex-pats to burst into tears of joy upon their first return to a Whole Foods salad bar, Chop’t, or any restaurant in California.
12. Bagels and Cream Cheese
This one is just so hard.
13. Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Many Other American Cereal Brands That Are Nearly Impossible to Find on the Continent of Europe
America, we take cereal for granted.
14. Large Cups of Coffee
Yes. You feel like an asshole going to Starbucks when you live in the epicenter of “good coffee,” but you also don’t want to spend, like, a thousand euros every morning continually getting tiny cappuccinos or café crèmes.
15. Ice Cubes
Tepid Coke, exactly what I always wanted.
Obviously the Chipotles in London, Frankfurt, and Paris can’t fully satisfy this craving.