12 Life Lessons We’ve Learned From Ice Cube

From co-writing Friday with DJ Pooh to basically inventing the mixtape era with “Jackin’ for Beats,” Ice Cube’s wisdom is barely debatable at this point. Here are some priceless pearls from the wisest star of Ride Along, coming to theaters January 17.

1. Reflect on the little things.

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Smog-free skies. A hearty, halal breakfast. A good game of basketball, whether for you or the home team. No hassles from the local precinct. Props from the womenfolk. Conserving your bullet inventory. It’s the tiny pieces that make a whole day great.

2. There’s literally no wrong way to wear a bandana.

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Heck, wear two if you can.

3. Only moms don’t like f-bombs.

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Wise words from Dough Boy, his character in Boyz n tha Hood.

4. Facial hair. Have it.

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Doesn’t matter what it is.

5. Always keep an intermediary between you and what you suspect could be illegal or dangerous activity.

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When Ice Cube and Kevin Hart caught a Lyft with Conan O’Brien, they sent Conan in to procure beverages and brown bags for their stash of road beers.

6. Think twice before making enemies.

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Certainly avoid bad decisions at all costs, but on his “Check Yo Self” song he warns that “shotgun bullets are bad for your health,” which seems to indicate he owns some kind of terrifying elephant shotgun that shoots bullets instead of buckshot.

7. Authority is in your actions.

Respect comes from driving old-school cars, protecting said cars from the elements so they’re always scary, and carrying a bat. Everyone’s intimidated by bats.

8. Ranking of most important car equipment: hydraulics, throwback interior, pristine stereo, bandana.

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Bandana need not match anything. Refer back to lesson number two.

9. Basketball is the only sport.

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10. But there’s still nothing as important as repping the home team.

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11. So much as a westside hand wave shows you mean business.

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It’s also a great way to get attention, or a simple dance step to add to your repertoire.

12. Protect your eyeballs.

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Indoors, outdoors, in daylight, at night — just keep them puppies safe for peepin’ what you need to peep.

Crazy only respects crazy.

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Insanely escalating the argument ends it nine times out of ten. But in the off chance it doesn’t work, be prepared for the ride to crazy town, a destination that Cube’s got two tickets to in Ride Along, in theaters January 17.

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