10 New Songs Reviewed By Cute Animals

We all know modern music critics are caricatures of themselves, so why not let these adorable audiophiles lend us some insight? Listen to all of these new albums and more by signing up for a free Rdio account today!

1. City and Colour, “Thirst”

“City & Colour has a new song and it’s like snow. It’s all around me and I love it and I’m dancing in it. Look at me dancing. Look at me. dance with me, friends. Dallas Green is a honorary member of my bear tribe now. Greenbear, he shall be called.”

2. Queens of the Stone Age, “My God Is The Sun”

“Sometimes, the only way to describe something is to be a majestic cat on a hamburger in space. This song is a majestic cat on a hamburger in space. Like me.”

3. Eleanor Friedberger, “She’s A Mirror”

“Eleanor Friedberger writes the kind of simple catchy tunes that make you want to start a band with your buddies and rock like your hero Keyboard Cat! You’re the best in the biz! We are Paw Simon and Art Garfield and we’re ready to rock!”

4. Ciara, “Body Party”

“This smooth jam from Ciara makes me wanna curl up under the sheets, like a little dog burrito. What’s on the menu? BURRITO WITH A SIDE OF JAM. DAT’S right ok. R&B = Rolling into a Burrito, am I right?”

5. Camera Obscura, “Do It Again”

“OH BOY A BALL OH BOY CAMERA OBSCURA OH BOY THEY MAKE GREAT JAMS OH BOY LET’S DO IT AGAIN OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY I LOVE IT! THIS SONG IS LIKE FRESH GRASS AND RUNNING AROUND AND LOVE! THROW IT ON AND LET’S FETCH!”

6. Portugal. The Man, “Evil Friends”

“This PTM song may start slow but hold on to your claws, kittens, because all of a sudden you’ll be punching the air and rebelling from your owners like they’re trying to cram you in that tiny box again. This song will make you want to punch your enemies.”

7. Ben Folds Five, “Brick”

“I saw Ben Folds Five back when I was just 2 and I must say, Ben’s voice hasn’t lost any of that youthful charm. Can you hear this youthful vigor? I remember so well. It’s like catnip for the ears, I must say. I must say remember when I was [falls asleep to sound of own cat-voice] what was I saying? Oh yes. Benjamin. In the year 1997… This song is pure nostalgic bliss.”

8. Rogue Wave, “College”

“This is real sunshine-surf-and-sand hand-holding music. Bring a friend and some sunglasses. Or in your pool. That’s an otter way to do it. This song is all about the happy hand-holding times. Listen to that washed-out sound.”

9. GRMLN, “Do You Know How It Feels?”

“Hey, there. Don’t let them tell you what to do. Like this song. It’s like lightning. That you can put on your iPod and clean the living room and stuff. You can even put on a pink outfit and like whatever, do your own thing. I’m a unicorn. I don’t care what my mom says. Put this on and own your life. This song owns.”

10. Future Bible Heroes, “Living, Loving, Partygoing”

“WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT? YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW THE SONG IS GOING? IT’S REALLY LOUD AND THERE’S A LOT OF BLEEPY NOISES SO I CAN’T REALLY HOLD ON THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART! ALIEN WHISTLEEEEE. THIS IS EPIC MUSIC RIGHT HERE!”

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