13 Lies Adults Tell That We Can’t Believe We Believed As Kids

If you sit down and think about it, you’ll realize that that your teachers, parents, and camp counselors spent a solid decade punking you with ridiculous lies. When your kid gets fed one of these whoppers, brighten their day by making their favorite meal using Ragú®

1. 1. If you make a silly face, it’ll get stuck like that

佳祥 王 / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: migasun

This lie was just a tease. After hearing that, who didn’t spend hours alone at the mirror trying to get a silly face to stick?

ID: 765019

2. 2. If you go outside with wet hair, you’ll get sick

Ryan Ruppe / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: ryanrocketship

…Mom said as she ran out the door for work with a damp towel falling from her hair.

ID: 765047

3. 3. TV is bad

Melissa Gutierrez / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: oddharmonic

TV is awesome.

ID: 765065

4. 4. The babysitter will play with you

Sharon Mollerus / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: clairity

More Accurate: The babysitter will ignore you while talking on the phone to her friends, so try not to hurt yourself.

ID: 765140

5. 5. Your Elementary school grades count

Liz Henry / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: lizhenry

Eventually, you have to accept that no one cares about that A-minus you earned in 4th grade Science. It’s a sad, sad day.

ID: 765187

6. 6. You’re a musical prodigy

USAG Livorno PAO / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: campdarby

Actually, your shredding skills depreciated the neighbor’s property value by 17 percent.

ID: 765193

7. 7. That cute puppy across the street is sick, so we can’t go and pet it

Lisa L Wiedmeier / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: crazymandi

Damn you, mom! That puppy was perfectly healthy and just wanted a young child’s tender love.

ID: 765204

8. 8. Your goldfish/hamster/imaginary friend ran away

紫流 / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: yukariryu

These lies didn’t make any logical sense then, but we gave parents the benefit of the doubt because of seniority. Never again.

ID: 765215

9. 9. You have to wait an hour to swim after you eat or you’ll get cramps

Rob Bixby / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: scubabix

There’s almost no evidence that swimming after you eat gives you cramps. This lie always seemed like a ploy to deprive children of 2 hours of key swimming time. First, there’s the hour-long lunch, and then, the hour-long penalty for eating said lunch. Devious.

ID: 765223

10. 10. Maybe tomorrow…

Oleg Sidorenko / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: oksidor

Learning that “Maybe tomorrow” means “No” is most children’s first chance to demonstrate their context clues skills.

ID: 765237

11. 11. If you swallow apple seeds, an apple tree will grow inside of you

Don Graham / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: 23155134@N06

A lie that turns eating apples into a terrifying — yet exhilarating — experience.

ID: 765256

12. 12. We have to leave the store because it’s closing

Bethany King / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: bethanyking

Translation: We have to leave the store because you’ve requested $1,100 worth of merchandise in the last 15 minutes and almost destroyed a display of TVs with the shopping cart.

ID: 765338

13. 13. There are no more cookies

Jeramey Jannene / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: compujeramey

There are always more cookies.

ID: 765347

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