1. You wear your sunglasses at night.
2. You're obsessive about your big hair.
3. You consider yourself a Cabbage Patch girl...
...or a Master of the Universe.
They are not laughing with you.
4. You haul this around in your backpack.
5. You can feel it coming in the air tonight.
6. You're still having this problem:
7. Every one of your birthday cakes has 16 Candles.
8. You're not out of your neon phase.
9. You still sleep on a waterbed at night.
10. This is what you look like when it's time to "get physical."
11. You save your quarters for the arcade.
12. And you're still perfecting your moonwalk.
