1. Attach a Mason jar to your leg using your garter belt. Discreetly pee in it during the reception, thus eliminating the need to wrestle with your huge dress when you have to go.
2. Every time you come across a bridal fitness plan in a wedding magazine, tear it out and cut the pages into 1-inch strips. Put all the strips in a Mason jar. Make a dozen of these and line your aisle with them. Have someone light the paper on fire right before you walk down the aisle so you can bask in the beautiful glow.
3. Put a few Mason jars in a piñata to add some extra sparkle to your reception.
4. Use one to collect the turds of the dog who is your ring bearer.
5. Whenever you receive a "no" RSVP, shred it into tiny pieces and put the pieces into a Mason jar. The day after your wedding, douse the contents of the jar with the ingredients of your signature cocktail, then light on fire. Those guests are dead to you now.
6. Repeat the above steps with any photos you have of guests who do not bother to RSVP at all.
7. Label a Mason jar “bridesmaids’ tears” and offer it to anyone who complains about the cost of being in your wedding.
8. Put your wedding bouquet in a Mason jar. During the reception, hurl the bouquet — still in the jar — at the single woman you believe is most desperate to be married. If she catches it without flinching, she'll be next to get married.
9. Have all your guests put their keys in a Mason jar and turn your wedding reception into a key party.
10. Use one to make an updo, thus replacing the sock bun as the most popular hairstyle on Pinterest.
11. Write "tips" on a Mason jar in fancy calligraphy. Put it at the place setting of the bridesmaid who actually did all the work.
12. Place Mason jars strategically around the reception area for drunken groomsmen to vomit into. For an extra-thoughtful touch, set some vintage handkerchiefs next to the jars so they can discreetly wipe their mouths afterward.
13. Have a few dozen condoms printed with you and your fiancé’s names and your wedding date. Put them in a Mason jar and place on the singles’ table as a unique wedding favor.
14. Whenever you and your fiancé get sick of wedding planning, smash a Mason jar. Save the pieces of these jars in another Mason jar. On the day of the wedding, invite guests to throw the shards at you instead of rice.
15. Use one as a receptacle for all the bobby pins your new spouse drunkenly removes from your hair as you attempt to get undressed for wedding-night sex.