1. Mobile devices can win us money …
Winning money used to mean you came in first in the Iditarod or got lucky in Vegas or something. Now if you can text fast enough, you’re a modern-day superhero…
2. … and take our money away.
… but just like superheroes are vulnerable to certain things, like kryptonite or kryptonite-coated arrows or getting punched by supervilliains until they die, so too can texting be the flip side to our Achilles’ heel.
3. They magically manifest things out of thin air!
As you can tell from this surprising video, a cell phone is basically a magic wand.
4. … things like flowers, to show someone you care.
Take it from us, being able to order flowers at a moment’s notice anywhere in the world has been a lifesaver.
5. And pizza. (For those times when flowers aren’t enough.)
6. One small swipe, and the right song can get the party started.
How did we listen to music before mobile technology? Wax cylinders and clarinets don’t have the same #EpicSwag that today’s Millennials demand.
8. They have the power to transmit your voice!
And that’s the first thing they ever did!
9. And they enable us to easily communicate in foreign tongues.
How did we convey thoughts and ideas through symbols before mobile technology? Quill pens and metaphors don’t have the same #YOLO that today’s Millennials crave.