Cake’s “Short Skirt/Long Jacket” As Interpreted By Stock Photos

This oldie but goodie gets the stock photo interpretation it has always deserved.

2. I want a girl with a mind like a diamond.

3. I want a girl who knows what’s best.

4. I want a girl with shoes that cut.

5. And eyes that burn like cigarettes.

6. I want a girl with the right allocations.

7. Who’s fast and thorough.

8. And sharp as a tack.

9. She’s playing with her jewelry.

10. She’s putting up her hair.

11. She’s touring the facility.

12. And picking up slack.

13. I want a girl with a short skirt…

14. …and a lonnnnggggggggg jacket.

15. I want a girl who gets up early.

16. I want a girl who stays up late.

17. I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity.

18. Who uses a machete to cut through red tape.

19. With fingernails that shine like justice.

20. And a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

21. She is fast and thorough.

22. And sharp as a tack.

23. She’s touring the facility.

24. And picking up slack.

25. I want a girl with a short skirt…

26. and a lonnnnng…. lonnng jacket.

27. (trumpet solo)

28. I want a girl with a smooth liquidation.

29. I want a girl with good dividends.

30. At Citibank we will meet accidentally.

31. We’ll start to talk when she borrows my pen.

32. She wants a car with a cupholder arm rest.

33. She wants a car that will get her there.

34. She’s changing her name from Kitty to Karen.

35. She’s trading her MG…

36. …for a white Chrysler LeBaron.

37. I want a girl with a short skirt…

38. …and a lonnnnng, long jacket.