1. The Artist
If the actors aren’t going to talk, then you should be able to.
At home, the only one bothered by your guttural sobbing is your cat.
Subtitles were invented specifically for Brad Pitt’s character in this movie.
4. Magic Mike
Pause. Play. Rewind. Play. Pause. Play. Rewind. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Pauuuuuuse.
6. Dirty Dancing
Apparently moving theater seats to learn the dance moves is a fire hazard?
A movie best seen from a place where WebMD can respond with, “Lady parts can’t do that. This is wackadoodle.”
This is how you start celebrating Christmas in July. Or mid-February. Or whenever your merry self feels like it.
9. Lord of the Rings
If you don’t care about hobbits, just hit “mute” for a scenic tour of mystical New Zealand.
10. Mulholland Drive
Pause and let Wikipedia be your spirit guide throughout.
11. Love Actually
Not that one should regret spending a small fortune on theater tickets for the same movie… but there are other options.
12. She’s The Man
Stop over and over again to repeat, “Amanda Bynes had so much potential!”
Surround yourself with puppies, stuffed animals, and rainbows to make it through this apocalypse flick.
14. Pitch Perfect
At home, it’s like a sing-a-long! At the theaters, it’s more like “offensively off-key and disturbing the other patrons.”