1. Overcooked steak.
In all fairness, De Niro had a point: If you overcook the steak, it’s no good.
2. Finding out that you’re dating a vegetarian.
Well, maybe it’s not that bad.
3. The moment you realized you were eating imitation crab all along.
4. Getting scolded by your doctor for having ridiculously high cholesterol.
Or as it’s more commonly known, “the moments you considered becoming a vegan.”
8. VEGAN BACON.
You either go bacon or go home.
9. While we’re at it… TURKEY BACON.
Your effort to be bacon is commendable, but no. Stop trying.
11. When your co-workers suggest “that new vegetarian place” for lunch.
12. Getting dirty looks for eating the gristle and fat of a steak.
13. The struggle of loving chicken nuggets.
“Pink slime” might not even be in chicken nuggets, but that image will stay in your brain forever anyways.
14. Going to a BBQ restaurant on your first date.
There is no suave way to eat ribs.
15. Society dictating that we have to eat steak with a fork and knife.
Just because they say so doesn’t mean we have to.
16. Going to a cookout and being told, “Sorry, we only have veggie burgers. But they taste like real meat!”
No they don’t. I hate you. I hate you so much.
19. The inability to join movie characters while they devour some juicy-looking meat.
That zebra leg looks… so… good… drool
20. Going to a restaurant with your date and seeing a large amount of perfectly good meat they didn’t finish leftover on their plate.
21. When others prevent you from eating a mouthwatering piece of pork just because it’s pink on the inside.
Tapeworms? I don’t care. I want it now.
22. Being told about animal cruelty while eating a burger.
Dude… seriously. Not now.
23. When PETA passive-aggressively tells you that you suck at sex.
24. When your family tries going experimental on Thanksgiving.
Tofurkey? More like no-furkey.
25. The friend who boasts about how much better they are because of their vegan diet.
I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my munching on pork rinds.