Traveling with big boobs is a unique experience.
1. Airlines' ever-shrinking luggage allotments can be tough, but you still need to pack the most support possible.
#thatawkwardmoment your bras need their own suitcase
2. Since crossbody bags aren't your strong suit, wrangling a friend to help you with your stuff is an airport essential.
3. It's painful not to make a joke with security about how "bomb" (adj.) your chest is. You're still working to suppress the urge.
They're not bombs, they're just my boobs (receiving my third TSA patdown)
4. Walking to your seat means nearly giving several fellow passengers free motorboating opportunities...
5. ...and once you're strapped in there, it's just like, "How do I manage this tray table?"
6. Also, has this crossed anyone else's mind before?
Turbulence is a button airline pilots push just to make our boobs bounce.
7. Still, it's not all bad.
I never pack a travel pillow, because when I get tired, I just nod my head forward and rest it on my boobs.
8. If you're headed to the ocean, your look is less "maximizing" and more "trying not to knock anybody* out."
9. The beach is cool and family-friendly, as long as you stay relatively still.
10. On second thought, maybe move up the beach a little. That top will be a mile out to sea when you stand up again.
11. Boating is cool, if the water is still that day.
Boat rides. #bigboobproblems
12. Backpacking? Make sure your gear is...generous.
13. And while you'll want a top that keeps the girls in check...
14. ...you'll also want to escape it if need be.
15. If you're headed in the equestrian direction, hang on tight!
Horseback riding kinda went like this: one hand holding the saddle, one hand preventing my boobs from hitting my face
To your boobs, that is. To your boobs.
16. And whatever you do, avoid country-club-esque sports involving projectiles.
17. At Oktoberfest, though, your sweater stretchers are a total asset.
18. As they are in the event of a water landing...
My boobs are like my own personal floatation device.
19. ...on Fat Tuesday...
20. ...and in a few other places, assuming you're a Karen Smith type.
Sebastians gonna hurt himself jet skiing I feel it in my boobs
