hanukkah

The Story Of Hanukkah As Told By One Really Hot Jewish Guy

The tale of the oil that lasted for eight days, as told by Eliad Cohen — who never forgets to put on his golden Chai necklace.

1. In ancient Judea, the Jewish people lived under Greek rule.

2. The story goes that King Antiochus was a ruler who outlawed the Jewish religion.

3. Brave Jews practiced in secrecy, and resentment toward their rulers started to mount.

4. Enter a young hero, Judah Maccabee.

5. He led his army, the Maccabees, to battle against the Greek empire.

6. Maccabee means “hammer.”

7. They were a small force but fought long and hard against their oppressors.

8. They managed to win the fight against their much bigger enemy.

9. But in the battle, much of the city was destroyed, including the great temple.

10. After the war was over, the Jewish people went to go rededicate the temple and light the menorah.

11. They needed oil to light it but there was only enough over to last for one night.

12. Oh no!

13. In what only can be described as a miracle, it lasted for eight.

14. Just enough time for more oil to be made.

15. Peace returned to the land and all was well.

16. Now we light menorahs of our own to remember the miracle that happened.

17. We eat fried foods like latkes and sufganiyot (jelly donuts) to signify the oil.

18. It’s a great holiday with lots of dreidel spinning and family time.

19. Amen.

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