HERE’S THE DEAL: The AFP is reporting that corgis are headed to the endangered dog breed list, or more specifically the “vulnerable native dog breed” list. This is not good. This is a nightmare. This is tragic.
This is why we need to save the corgis. Below you will read 71 other reasons why they must be saved. Please do your part in spreading the word. DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN.
1. Corgis are in 62% of all photos of real-life animals posing with stuffed animal versions of themselves.
2. They are an intricate part of fall leaf cleanup in the state of Wisconsin.
4. The tiny black cape industry will likely collapse without corgis.
5. Corgis are influential stretchers.
I don’t really know what that means, but it seems important. Stretching is good.
6. They are one of only a handful of dog breeds that can read actual human books.
9. This photo of corgis dressed up as candy corn actually caused a surge in candy corn sales. The corgi impact is real.
12. More recently, corgis have been exploring other artistic endeavors like sand castle building.
13. They’ve been an intricate part of the recent interpretive dance movement.
14. Fashion wise, I think it’s safe to say they’re the ones who brought bow ties back.
15. I mean, come on, look at this guy with those sunglasses. Instantly iconic.
16. They’re also the ones who actually invented the popular internet meme called “breading.” Fuck you, cats.
21. Have I mentioned all of the lives they have saved this year? Hundreds.
22. They’re responsible for one-twelfth of this year’s American lobster trade.
23. One-sixtieth of all new businesses this year have been started by corgis, including this brilliant teddy-corgi one.
25. Note: They may also vacuum for you. Depends on the corg.
26. Corgis are great at policing. Unlike human officers, corgis stay rational. They also wear bow ties.
27. They’re also just cool. I know that’s shallow, but hey, it’s a fact.
28. Corgis are poised to make their biggest impact at next year’s Olympic games. A record three corgis are going to compete in downhill skiing.
30. For you breeders, corgis are advocates for playground safety.
33. And will also drive you home when you’ve had too much to drink.
35. And if you’re busy, you can just put them in a swing. They’ll stay entertained for hours.
36. This photo of a corgi in a wig has increased tourism for Ireland by 15%.
37. And this photo increased sales of stone walls by 7%. Their economic impact is tremendous.
38. Politically, corgis have made great in progress in inter-dog communication.
39. They’ve basically brought great peace to the dog world.
40. Corgis are quickly becoming “pin-leaders” on Pinterest for their great “sibling reveals.”
41. Really, no one is doing this on Pinterest right now except corgis.
43. The other four-fifths just love to party, which is also chill and fun.
44. Have a bunch of balloons? No problem! Corgis are great at guarding them.
47. They will literally sit in your mailbox and fetch your mail.
49. Corgis have also heavily invested in the grocery-store machine-toy market.
51. And some corgis, not all, are great personal shoppers. A growing industry in Corgi Nation.
52. It must also be noted that corgis look cute on a set of stairs.
59. A world without corgi puppies is like a world without oxygen.
64. We would all go to hell and live in a constant, never-ending nightmare.
67. Because THERE WOULD BE NO CORGI PUPPIES IN HELL.
70. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN (OR JUST FOR YOURSELF IF YOU’RE SELFISH LIKE ME).
71. FINAL THOUGHT: Who will ride all of the bicycles made out of dreams?!
NO ONE WOULD.
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