1. “Baywatch”: the most important show of every gay’s youth.
2. Except this is probably how you saw it.
3. It all started with that intro. That slow-motion blue speedo. Yes.
4. Let’s pause that right there and take a moment to appreciate the moment you discovered the goodness of speedos. #Blessed
6. Thank you Cody for being covered in oil, lifting a garbage can, and wearing unusually ill-fitting jorts.
7. It doesn’t even matter that his skin was a completely unnatural shade of brown.
9. Really, that hair.
10. You weren’t looking at his hair.
11. Enough with Cody. There were other guys.
12. And lots of baby oil.
13. The gratuitous shots of lifeguards casually flexing biceps.
14. Remember when they would do lifeguard training or whatever, which meant they would wear the little black speedos. That was really cool.
18. Thank you.
19. Your hair blowing in the wind with your little red floaty thing.
23. Oh yeah, and the hot Australian dude. Thank you for introducing us to guys with accents.
24. Hoby, we grew with you.
25. Admit it: You totally felt a little something for Mike even though he could be your dad.