She is weird & gross & should not be famous.

Her 'heated flesh'? YEAH, THAT TURNS ME ON ALRIGHT. ZOMBIE CUISINE.

And she doesn't have a book deal?

Gross. Just - Gross. Sounds like she has Doug doing all the work so she can stand around and look like a young (old) porn star.

She really likes modifiers.

She's like a living, D-grade erotica Mad Lib

She reminds me of a kid putting on an act of what they think a “sexy lady” acts and sounds like. Which is exactly what's going on here.

This… this can't be real. I refuse to believe that this is real.

::Opens Twitter account::

why do these read like they were written by a 50 year old man? also, WHO ROLLS OUT OF BED IN A BIKINI?!

I sway between being completely grossed out and just feeling sad for her. I don't think I've ever seen anyone more desperate for attention and validation. “I'm hot… right?!?! You love me now… right?!?”

I hate this chick because she makes men who are legitimately turned on by 40 year old desperate women who are trying too hard to be sexy feel like pedophiles.

I read the whole thing in my pornstar voice :S (Yes.. I have one, apparently)

What blows my mind is that her grammar is correct for the most part. I expected to hardly be able to read her tweets.

Is she molesting her dogs? #12 is the most fucked up thing I've read in a long time (Yes, even worse than Tyra Banks' book)

I so did not need to know that this existed.

Oh my god, that last one.

#5 pug looks pretty sincere about this.