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Kale Comes Out As Gay In Exclusive BuzzFeed Interview

Kale responds to rumors that it is, in fact, gay. BuzzFeed reports.

Backstory: Madonna was asked to write down the first word that came to mind in a game of word association at BuzzFeed. After writing down "gay" for Vladimir Putin, Madonna proceeded to write down "gay" for the leafy green vegetable, kale.

Proof:

Then, the internet reacted accordingly...by losing its f*#%ing mind.

The outrage.

Now, in an exclusive interview, we got Kale to stop by the BuzzFeed offices to speak up.

With its signature dark sunglasses and leafy fronds, Kale can at first appear aloof, but I'll let you know, Kale is actually very down-to-earth and grounded.

After a quick handshake and some small talk about what Chard is up to, the interview began.

Right away, Kale wanted to clear the air.

"Yep, I'm gay."

In my six years as a professional vegetable journalist, I have never been so completely at a loss for words in an interview. The room fell completely silent.

Call me unprofessional, but I was moved to give Kale a hug in that moment.

After Kale came out, we decided to lighten the mood by doing our own game of word association like Madonna had done before. More surprising revelations followed.

ORGANIC FARMING:

GREENHOUSES:

SPINACH:

PHOTOSYNTHESIS:

CUCUMBERS:

SHALLOTS:

GUACAMOLE:

BLUETOOTH:

BOWLING:

MADONNA:

Now, Kale's brave statement is a cover story that the entire world can embrace.

Thank you, Kale! Hopefully this will be an inspiration to all young leafy greens everywhere!