1. Remember that ditzy douche-esque blonde bro that Lizzie was superficially attracted to even though Gordo was her one true love and actual real soulmate?
2. “If you say ‘Ethan Craft,’ I swear I’m gonna hurl!” —Gordo
3. OK, so Ethan Craft’s real name is Clayton Snyder and he’s still alive.
4. And, get ready for it, he’s pretty dang hot.
5. Yes, he takes shirtless selfies.
6. And may rub cooking oil all over his body.
9. In conclusion, stay shirtless.