What are douche chills?
Douche chills are a natural bodily function that occur whenever you get physical chills from looking at someone who appears or acts incredibly douchey. Douche chills can also cause a “jolt of energy” to run through your being, and one may temporarily lose control of their limbs and legs. The most common cause of douche chills are middle-aged white men with long hair, diamond earrings, lots of gel, and popped collars.
Go through the following 40 images to see if you are susceptible to douche chills.
1. First off, we have the man, the myth, the legend: Billy Ray Cyrus.
2. Billy Ray Cyrus has been giving people douche chills for years and years and years.
3. Here are a few examples of Billy Ray Cyrus’ looks that have given DCs* to the average person.
*DCs = douche chills.
4. Here’s a picture of peak Billy Ray at a Toys for Tots function with his bangs flowing over his aviator sunglasses.
5. Here’s a photo of Billy Ray giving a peace sign:
6. And on the set of Fox & Friends:
7. He really stepped up his game when he started walking red carpets with his daughter Miley.
8. That’s when things got slightly out of control.
10. *Violently shakes*
11. Moving on, here is the cast of Wild Hogs.
12. Now perpetual douche chiller, Guy Fieri.
14. Ah, and now for John Travolta and his middle part.
15. John Travolta and his little motorcycle cap.
16. And now John Travolta on a motorcycle.
That’s enough of that.
17. Fred Durst and the lead singer of Puddle of Mudd.
18. Basically any magician, but specifically the MiNd FrEAk himself, Criss Angel.
19. Early 2000s Ryan Seacrest has been known to give a good shake.
21. Another pioneer, Jon Gosselin.
22. Mr. Mel Gibson.
23. Ten-years-ago Ryan Cabrera…
24. …as well as present-day Ryan Cabrera.
26. Chad Kroeger’s bangs.
27. Chad Kroeger’s hand.
28. Chad Kroeger’s general being.
29. The voice of Creed, Scott Stapp.
30. Michael Lohan’s jeans.
31. The unofficial 2007 douche chill champion, Bret Michaels.
32. Spencer Pratt.
33. Doug Hutchinson and his then-child bride, Courtney Stodden.
Trigger warning for this next one…
34. Carrot Top.
35. This is a popular picture: Nick Carter and Paris Hilton.
36. Howie Mandel’s soul patch.
Note: Most soul patches cause douche chills to some degree.
37. Stephen Baldwin’s lips.
38. Justin Bieber’s saggy diaper.
39. David Hasselhoff at a Von Dutch party.
40. And lastly, Tom Cruise in a turtleneck.
If you are currently experiencing douche chills, I just want to remind you to breathe it out. No need to freak out. The feeling and sensation is temporary.
Have a good day now.
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