1. You must have SEVERAL dishes prepared with bacon. Lots of bacon.
Weave bacon into the DNA of every meal.
2. Always have out a lovely bouquet… of nachos.
Because you’re freaking fancy.
3. Sandwiches can neither be smaller than one’s head…
Don’t disappoint your friends.
4. …nor shorter than one’s body.
5. Throw a pizza in the oven during every commercial break.
This will be excellent for breakfast when you wake up feeling super sad that your team lost.
6. And make sure said pizza is a least three inches thick.
And THIS will be excellent for breakfast when you wake up feeling stoked because your team won.
7. Whatever amount of wings you’ve prepared, multiply that by 20.
Ha, you thought 200 wings was enough. LOL.
8. Maintain a one-pound minimum of hot dog toppings.
If the plate isn’t bending, you’re not doing it right.
9. Have several gallons of cheese melted and ready to be ladled.
You know, just in case.
10. Make ONLY football cupcakes.
Then punt those bad boys straight into your mouth.
11. And do NOT forget the snack stadium.
Don’t be an amateur. Make a snack stadium.