10 Things That Just Won’t Fly After College

Aka, 10 reasons why you can no longer survive on ramen and wake up at noon everyday. Welcome to real life.

1. Eating Ramen Noodles Five Times A Week

In college, Ramen Noodles are the perfect fix for when you’re broke and always in a hurry. You can even spice them up with meat, veggies and peanut butter (for that simulated pad thai.) But after college, our diets and bodies tend to change. And while ramen has no meat, the 1660mg of sodium may just send your stomach off the deep end.

2. Bragging About Your Mad Beer Pong Skills

While your ability to sink ping pong balls into red solo cups might make you the big man on campus, this skill won’t gain you any legitimacy in post-grad life.

3. Your Taste Of Interior Design

While it may have been your mission to cover every square inch of your dorm room in ripped up posters and flyers, after college you’re going to have to give your digs a serious makeover. It might be hard to score the girl/guy of your dreams when your pad is still stuck in sophomore year.

4. Living With 20 People

There may be a part of you that wants to keep Greek life going forever, but there’s a time and place for you and your frat bros to finally part ways.

5. Casually Wearing “Jorts”

Upon entering the real world, one can not just casually wear jorts. There’s a time and a place for this practice, and these times will come few and far between.

6. Waking Up At Noon

Say sayonara to this college perk. Waking up after noon post-grad life is basically a myth.

7. Wearing Uggs With Leggings

In college, the key to fashion was comfort. In the real world, Uggs are exclusively reserved for weekends only.

8. Your Definition Of Spring Break

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For the past 4 years, you’ve probably been counting down the days until your spring break trip to Acapulco. Don’t worry, the real world changes all of that. Basically, spring break, the ability to eat pizza at 4 am and watch daytime talk shows comes to an end as soon as you enter the “real world”.

9. Snow Days

There are no snow days.

10. Your Ridiculous E-mail Address

While you could probably get away with using your old school e-mail address for everything in college, the real world works a little differently. Sending out resumes and cover letters with your gangstathuglife4eva e-mail address doesn’t exactly scream legitimacy, and probably won’t land you the job of your dreams. And while we can’t help you with your jorts and Uggs addiction, we can help you upgrade your email address right now! Head to Outlook.com for a preview of modern email from Microsoft.

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