Honestly, this should have been cool. Two groups of dinosaurs, both color coordinated, bopping each other about the head. Instead, insert some annoying teenagers with magical rings who insist on bossing the dinosaurs around. I think the Dinosaucers should have just eaten them.
2. Paw Paws
If Hanna-Barbera was NOT known for one thing, it was was racial sensitivity. So to an illustrious list that included Hong Kong Phooey and the Hair Bears come the Paw Paws, a native tribe of small bears drawn in broad racial strokes.
This is what happens when you have an amazing idea for a toy line, but don’t actually have any idea about characterization. True, M.A.S.K had motorcycles that could into helicopters and sports cars that could turn into jets….but the protagonists had all the complexity of paste.
4. Sylvanian Families
Little burgher animal families lead little burgher lives. Why did this get cancelled after only one year? Perhaps the undead eyes of their toy counterparts?
5. Challenge of the Gobots
Poor Gobots. Always the bridesmaid to the Transformers bride. It certainly didn’t help matters that you only ever saw six robots and each one was more annoying then the last. Plus, the main protagonist was named Leader-1, which is as pompous a name as one can give oneself.
6. Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors
If only because the evil plant Saw Boss is the most horrifying 1980s cartoon villain. I would rather face down Skeletor with nothing but a nerf gun than face this monstrosity.
7. Drak Pack
Undead hipsters complain about paying the rent and not getting jobs. Talk about how Dracula has gone mainstream. Not a girl in sight.
8. The Biskitts
Robin Hood with three inch dogs. Sounds great in theory, but was terrible in execution due to the fact that the Biskitts central goal was terrorizing the local human populace and destabilizing the economy.
9. Lazer Tag Academy
Honestly, those of us who grew up in the 80s had to listen to horror stories of kids getting shot by cops because they thought all children had suddenly decided to take the streets by force. Along comes this little jerk, who only reinforced the fears of America’s constabulary.
10. Denver, the Last Dinosaur
If you do yourself one favor on your brief spin upon this blue and white orb we call Earth, DO NOT listen to the theme song. You will bash your head in until everything fades to black.
11. The California Raisins