1. Telling aspiring chefs that their food looks like a raw, disgusting bison’s penis and that it’s nasty and raw.
3. But also looking adorable and innocent with a tiny little lamb.
5. Falling asleep at a restaurant because his order was taking too long.
6. Telling chefs that their scallops are shitty and disgusting and that they’ll basically never amount to anything.
8. Perfectly arranging his vegetables for a naughty chef photo shoot.
10. Expressing profound disappointment in the state of almost every kitchen.
14. And basically just feeling personally insulted about every shitty, disgusting kitchen he’s ever been in.
17. Telling a chef that they’re the reason his pubes are turning gray.
19. Being really shocked and disappointed by almost everybody.
23. Convincing people that they’re basically a huge disappointment.
24. Calling crazy chefs Hitler (and expressing deep disappointment over what appears to be macaroni and cheese).
27. Telling a steak he wants to die and fuck off with it to heaven.
33. And being an all-around awesome guy and probably the greatest chef ever.
In The News Today