1. When he walks into his own pre-dimmed hallway closet and he’s like, “Oh yeah, David, it’s just me and you now, and nobody else.”
2. When he takes off his shirt and strains his back.
3. When he walks up to the mirror and just stands there for a second admiring his own flawless six-pack.
NOTE: PLEASE IGNORE THE GUY IN THE BACKGROUND. HE DOES NOT MATTER.
4. When he starts putting on his shirt and does it all slow for his own enjoyment.
5. When he finishes putting on his shirt and he can’t even keep his eyes off of himself, he’s just so into it.
6. When he stares into his own eyes and he’s like, “Would you do me?”
7. “I’d do me.”
8. When he tilts his head and thinks, “God, my jaw line is so perfect.”
9. When he tugs on his jacket and admires how good he looks in a well-tailored suit.
10. When he dowses himself in his own scent and loves every drop of it.
11. And then when he leaves and he’s like, “Bye, David. I’ll see you later tonight…”
Here’s the entire sexual experience:
- U.S. President Barack Obama said the United Nations climate summit in Paris could be a "turning point" in saving the planet 🌍 ›
- Planned Parenthood officials said they believed Friday's shooting at a Colorado Springs clinic was motivated by opposition to abortion. ›
- And Kobe Bryant wrote a poem announcing that he's retiring from professional basketball at the end of this season 🏀🎭 ›