1. When Beyoncé appeared out of nowhere, in the midst of smoke, legs spread wide, and started swiveling in the sexiest throne ever to grace the Grammy stage.
2. When she threw back her head and revealed what her hair probably looks like in the middle of sex with Jay Z because that's exactly what this performance is all about.
3. And when she treated this microphone like the sex stick she knows it is.
4. Every single sultry and seductive gaze from this sex-riddled goddess chair.
5. When she looked like she was sitting in an empty office at sunset, stripped down to nothing, with only the sun between the shades to warm her naked skin.
6. When she rode this chair to its sweet, beautiful chair death, exhausting it with her raw, sexual power.
7. Every single whisp of smoke that graced Beyoncé's glowing sex skin.
8. This back arch.
9. This flawless dip.
10. And every single moment of this sexual chair spinnage.
11. EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.
12. When she presented the most flawless ass in the most flawless way possible.
13. When she started spreading her legs and the world around her literally stopped spinning.
14. And then when she spread them all the way and my body actually exploded.
15. When she prayed for our poor, helpless souls, whimpering in her presence.
16. When she gave us one last hair whip in her sex chair...
17. And rose...
18. And whipped her hips like only Beyoncé can.
19. When she shook her ass so hard, the lights literally flickered.
20. When she paused for a moment in her full seductive glory...
21. Presented that ass one more time...
22. And brought Jay to life with the sheer power of her sex stare.
23. When she laughed at how awkward Jay was and gave him some of her sexual strength.
24. When she led Jay Z to the land of sexual promise.
25. And when she waited very patiently while he reached the top.
26. When she stood there and imbued Jay with her raw, sexual energy.
27. When she screamed her love over the entire stage.
28. And then opened her mouth even further, spreading her seductive breath across the world.
29. When she slapped her ass one more time.
30. When she paused, mid-sex, before the most important part of the entire night...
31. And she and Jay SURFBORTed over everyone.
32. When Beyoncé gave Jay Z a taste of the most powerful ass on the planet.
33. When she looked into his eyes and thought, You gonna get the rest tonight.
34. When she looked at the rest of us and thought, You're all lucky to have us.
35. When she rubbed her head on Jay's back, officially marking him as her own.
36. And when they walked away, leaving us stunned, drained, emotional, crying, in need of a cigarette, a drink, anything to save us from the climactic rush of what we'd just witnessed.
