1. Because kids want to stick their hands in everything, which is never a good idea.
2. Because most animals find children delicious.
4. Because kids are annoying and animals have a full understanding of this fact.
5. And kids are stupid enough to fall for their animal pranks.
6. Because kids don’t fully appreciate a nice friendly animal when one comes along.
7. Because kids are selfish monsters who don’t share food.
9. And they don’t understand how to have proper fun.
10. Or how to take pictures without being annoying and needy.
13. And they hug too tight and think it’s funny even though it’s disgusting and they’re sticky.
14. Because kids are pretty much always dumb and annoying at the worst possible time.
15. They get in the way when animals are just trying to have a pleasant afternoon on the living room floor.
16. Because kids don’t appreciate a wet kiss on the cheek.
17. Or an enjoyable morning outside free of smothering hugs.
18. Because kids give off some kind of scent that drives most animals insane.
19. Because no kid or baby is truly kind enough to appreciate animal love.
20. Because kids are physically incapable of enjoying meals around animals without everything being a disaster.
21. Basically, because kids are dumb and don’t appreciate how awesome animals are.
22. And they’re literally just always stupid and in the way.
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