23 Reasons Why Kids And Animals Should Never Mix

Kids plus animals ALWAYS equals disaster. No exceptions.

1. Because kids want to stick their hands in everything, which is never a good idea.

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2. Because most animals find children delicious.

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3. And sometimes vice versa.

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4. Because kids are annoying and animals have a full understanding of this fact.

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5. And kids are stupid enough to fall for their animal pranks.

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6. Because kids don’t fully appreciate a nice friendly animal when one comes along.

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7. Because kids are selfish monsters who don’t share food.

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8. And they’re always in the way.

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9. And they don’t understand how to have proper fun.

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10. Or how to take pictures without being annoying and needy.

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11. Because this happens.

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12. Because most kids are smothering and gross.

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13. And they hug too tight and think it’s funny even though it’s disgusting and they’re sticky.

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14. Because kids are pretty much always dumb and annoying at the worst possible time.

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15. They get in the way when animals are just trying to have a pleasant afternoon on the living room floor.

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16. Because kids don’t appreciate a wet kiss on the cheek.

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17. Or an enjoyable morning outside free of smothering hugs.

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18. Because kids give off some kind of scent that drives most animals insane.

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19. Because no kid or baby is truly kind enough to appreciate animal love.

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20. Because kids are physically incapable of enjoying meals around animals without everything being a disaster.

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21. Basically, because kids are dumb and don’t appreciate how awesome animals are.

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22. And they’re literally just always stupid and in the way.

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23. And they do dumb stuff like this and basically they should just never be around animals ever and the world would generally be a better place.

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