2. Assert your position as the center of the universe.
3. Never let societal norms dictate your drinking habits.
9. Recognize that you are always, unquestionably, the center of everybody’s attention.
10. Be a glamorous, generous, giving person.
11. Always take time to do what makes you happy.
13. Always come prepared with a suggestive compliment.
15. Nothing works better than a well-delivered bitter insult.
16. Recognize and assert your own irrefutable social domination.
17. Make sure your enemies know they’re your enemies.
19. Never hesitate to impose your will on others. You are, after all, the only thing that matters.
21. If words escape you, animalistic noises always do the trick.
23. …and forget about the people that don’t.
- Robert L. Dear, 57, was identified as the suspected gunman in a fatal shooting at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs. ›
- At least 15 people were killed after a suicide bomber attacked a Shiite Muslim procession of hundreds of people in Nigeria. ›
- And how well do you know what happened in the news this week? Take our quiz. ›