Can You Make It Through This Without Feeling Sexually Attracted To Chocolate?

Nobody can love you like chocolate can love you.

1. First, look at this smooth chocolatey cream spinning sensually in itself and falling innocently into this voluptuous dollop.

 

2. Look at this chocolatey hole filling up with passion and warm, oozing, syrupy chocolate glaze.

 

3. Oh God, look at this sweet, sweet swirl. This warm, creamy, sultry swirl. Look how it swirls. LOOK AT IT SWIRL.

 

4. Look at these hard little chocolate balls. They know what they did.

 

5. Look at this tall, cool glass of chocolate milkshake, brimming, right at the edge. Look at this chocolate sandwich slide softly inside it, filling it up, sending it over the edge.

 

6. Oh… Oh God. Oh God, look at this strawberry. Look at it turn. It can barely take it. It can barely handle the chocolate.

 

7. Look at this cake. Look how it YEARNS for your tongue. LOOK AT IT YEARN.

 

8. Look at this cake OVERFLOWING with chocolate, oozing down its sides with warm, gooey puddles of melted bliss.

 

9. Look at this brownie batter, flowing softly into a greased pan, gliding slowly, passionately against the cold surface.

 

10. Look at the chocolate syrup, pouring with desire, clinging to every crevice, filling every hole.

 

11. Look how it falls, so slowly. Look at its curves, its sweet, gooey curves. It wants you to lick it. It’s BEGGING. LICK IT.

 

12. Oh, God. Look at these donuts, waiting eagerly for the sensual drops, the chocolatey glaze, nestling softly against their gaping holes.

 

13. Look how it flows over these mounds, gliding along every supple curve.

 

14. *DEEP, GUTTURAL BREATHS *

 

15. *LOUD, SHRILL MOANING FOLLOWED BY GASPS FOR AIR*

 

16. Look at these sweet, sweet sprinkles. They can go anywhere. They can do whatever you want. They can fulfill any fantasy.

 

17. OH, GOD. OH MY GOD. DON’T STOP MELTING. DON’T STOP. NEVER STOP.

 

18. Look at it fill these sweet, sweet waffly holes. Look at the waffle, throbbing in passion.

 

19. LOOK AT THESE CHOCOLATEY BROWNIE BITES, PENETRATING THE FLUFF.

 

20. Look how it spreads.

 

21. Spread, chocolate. SPREAD.

 

22. LOOK HOW IT DRIPS, GLISTENING WITH DESIRE.

 

24. OH, YES. YES. YES. YES.

 

25. OH GOD. THE MOUNDS. THE SWIRLS. THE HARD EXTERIOR AND THE SOFT, SMOOTH, CREAMY INSIDES, WAITING THE DELICATE TOUCH OF YOUR LIPS, THE FLICK OF YOUR TONGUE.

 

26. NEVER STOP, CHOCOLATE. NEVER STOP.

 

27. In conclusion:

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