1. This dog who knows EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HIS MOM and he will NOT let you get away with it.
2. This dog who knows you’re keeping a secret from him AND HE WILL MAKE YOU TELL HIM whether you like it or not.
4. This dog who doesn’t have a lot of money… but he does have a particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career, skills that make him a nightmare for people like you.
6. This owl who will follow you until you tell him what he wants to know.
7. This dog who WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS unless you give him his money.
8. This duckling who knows EVERYTHING you said about him last night because he was listening the WHOLE TIME.
9. This wombat who let you get away with it last time… but NOT THIS TIME.
10. This dog who doesn’t care how cute you think she is, she will FIND YOU AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.
12. This cat who let you get away with not paying rent last month… but not this month.
13. This cat who will find you, no matter how long it takes, and MAKE YOU PAY.
14. This terrifying monster who will find you and make you give her every bone you’ve been hiding.
16. This cat who doesn’t want to have to find you but SHE WILL FIND YOU.
17. This dog who will come for you by whatever means necessary.
21. These puppies who will band together to come for you NO MATTER WHAT.
22. This puppy who will TEAR YOU APART.
23. This meerkat who knows you have the money. YOU HAVE THE MONEY AND SHE KNOWS IT.
25. This bird who will run as far as it takes.
26. This cat who learned how to FLY, JUST SO HE COULD COME FOR YOU.
In The News Today