7 Brutal Literary Breakup Texts

    Sorry babe, I gotta Ishbail.

    1. Ron and Hermione

    2. Romeo and Juliet

    3. Cleopatra and Mark Antony

    4. Arwen and Aragorn

    5. Sir Lancelot and Elaine

    6. Zelda Fitzgerald and F. Scott Fitzgerald

    7. Jack Kerouac and any woman ever

    For more texts from your favorite literary characters, check out Mallory Ortberg's Texts From Jane Eyre, available now.