1. “Where’s your bone?”
It’s somewhere in this house probably. Instead of asking, why don’t you help me look?
2. “Who’s the best doggy in the whole wide world?”
I’d like to think I am, but maybe there are better dogs? Stop comparing me to other dogs!!!!
3. “Want a treat?”
I will never say no to this question. This is a silly question because YES is always the answer.
4. “Did you shit in the den?”
No, it was your son. YES JEEZ, of COURSE it was me. No need to make me feel all bad about it.
5. “Are you hungry?”
YES. ALWAYS. ALL THE TIME. I EAT ANYTHING, EVERYWHERE, NO MATTER WHAT. FEED ME.
6. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
UM. YES. I DO. I’VE ONLY BEEN HOLDING IN MY PEE FOR 8 HOURS WHILE YOU’VE BEEN AT WORK.
7. “What do you have there?”
It’s YOUR sock, can’t you tell?
8. “Did you do all of this?!”
I think you know the answer. SORRY ABOUT THE COUPONS.
10. ‘Why do you hate cats so much?”
MISCONCEPTION! We don’t really hate them. But if we do, it’s justified because they are huge jerks!
11. “Why are you so cute?”
Why? I don’t know, I was born this way. I CAN’T ANSWER THIS, YOU ARE MAKING MY HEAD HURT!
Technically not a question, but you just said hi to me 27 times in less than a MINUTE!!!