The Cast Of “Game Of Thrones” Imagine What Their Characters’ Email Addresses Would Be

We also asked them how they spend their time on the porcelain throne at the premiere for season four of the show.

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When’s the last time you tripped and fell in public?
Yesterday maybe? Possibly.

What would your character’s email address be?
dragonsaremylife@badass.com

Lucas Jackson / Reuters

If you had a sword, what would you name it?
Oh, wow, is this like a penis question? I can’t answer now, all I’m thinking about is my dick! No, no, OK, if I had a sword… No, I can’t, all I’m thinking about is my penis.

What mythical creature would you want to go into battle with?
A unicorn! A fucking unicorn! Like, Loras Tyrell, riding a fucking unicorn with a big old sword, chopping off people’s heads and then he’s got this ability to sprinkle flowers out of their decapitated neck.

When’s the last time you tripped and fell in public?
Probably the other night. I probably don’t remember it, but I have weird bruises somewhere, quite often.

What is your favorite thing to do while you’re sitting on the porcelain throne?
On the toilet?! I like to read, actually. I’ve got, like, a stack of intellectual, philosophical books, and I like to get them out and read.

What are you reading now?
I’m reading an amazing book called The Occult Conspiracy. It’s about how secret societies have influenced world power and politics throughout the ages. Going from ancient Egypt to free masonry of America. It’s some fucking hardcore shit.

What would your character’s email address be?
Loras@keepingthesass.com

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If you had a sword, what would you name it?
Swordy?

What mythical creature would you like to go into battle with?
Well, I don’t think it’s much of a battle for me, because I just sprinkle some of myself. So maybe another one of me?

When is the last time you tripped and fell in public?
Oh, I do that all the time. I want to say today, but not today, I guess. But I’m a very clumsy person, so all the time.

What would your character’s email address be?
reddyred@red.com

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If you had a sword in real life, what would you call it?
Buddy. My Little Buddy. No, Big Buddy!

What mythical creature would you like to go into battle with?
I would say, can I bring some of Daenerys’ dragons? And then fight some white walkers?

When is the last time you tripped and fell in public?
Oh my god, I think I fell yesterday. I trip and fall every day! I do like the, I’m walking and I trip and I pretend that I’m now turning it into a trot or run — like I’ve decided to just move faster or that I’m late or something. Or I have like, my ass has slid all the way down a flight of stairs. I always land really good.

What is your favorite thing to do while sitting on the porcelain throne?
Catch up on my emails! At pedro@bringitbitch.com!

What would your character’s email address be?
Pedro@bringitbitch.com

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If you had a sword in real life, what would you name it?
I mean, would I name it? Would someone really do that? I don’t think I’d name my sword if I had one. It would just be called sword.

When’s the last time you tripped and fell in public?
It will probably happen in 20 minutes. I can’t remember, though.

What about falling off a bike?
Oh, I have trouble with bikes. I can’t really ride a bike, and I learned to ride for a film and I went into a pothole and fell off. And I think everyone had been kind of mean about me and then felt really bad because I fell over.

What would your character’s email address be?
Gilly@crasterskeep.com

Jamie McCarthy / Getty Images

If you were to have a sword in real life, what would you name it?
I’d call it something like Hard Man — like, something gangster.

What mythical creature would you like to go into battle with?
A dragon! You can’t get better than dragons.

A lot of people don’t shower on the show, because there are no real showers. What’s the longest you’ve gone without showering?
In real life? Probably like four or five days.

When’s the last time you tripped and fell in public?
Well, I tripped at the hotel, there was a bit of concrete or something — I didn’t fall, but I nearly did. I fall over loads of times.

What would your character’s email address be?
Something boring and simple, like Tommenbaratheon123@hardman.com.

Jamie McCarthy / Getty Images

If you had a sword in real life, what would you name it?
Lifeender. Just one word, so they’d have to think about it: lifeender.

What mythical creature would you want to ride into battle with?
A mammoth.

But that was real once?
I don’t know, I don’t know where the line of myth is.

When’s the last time you tripped and fell in public?
I think I was drunk last night. I turned up at the hotel, and I got stuck in the revolving door with a guy from HBO, and I fell on my ass.

What is your favorite thing to do while sitting on the porcelain throne?
Dream about the iron throne! It’s one of those things that I’m fairly quite quick at. Good movement, that’s the fiber.

What would your character’s email address be?
Gwenn, G-W-E-N-N, to signify his homosexuality on Tuesdays, Gwenn@callme.com.

Jamie McCarthy / Getty Images

If you had a sword in real life, what would you name it?
I do have a sword! But I actually haven’t given it a name. How about Destroyer, that is good.

How do you like to spend your time sitting on the porcelain throne?
I’m quick and efficient; I don’t spend too much time, I don’t sit long enough to need any books.

What mythical creature would you want to ride into battle with?
Oh, well, it wouldn’t be dragons — I think they’d cut the ass off you with those spikes. I think a flying gerbil.

When is the last time you tripped and fell in public?
Tonight. That’s what it’s gonna be, when I’m drunk. Just before the police are called.

What would your character’s email address be in real life?
longsufferingdavos@gmail.com

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