1. Do: Wear Sweatbands. They are important for catching sweat.
2. Don’t: Wear shorts longer than mid thigh. MID THIGH IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE LENGTH.
3. Do: Stretch. Stretching is important. Your body is your temple.
4. Do: Show off your serve. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT.
5. Don’t: Stop stretching. Always keep stretching.
6. Do: Straddle the net.
7. Don’t: Play it cool. No reason to play it cool during tennis. THIS IS A COMPETITION AND DON’T FORGET IT.
8. Do: Keep wrestling with your doubles partner.
9. Don’t: Worry about finding a towel to wipe your sweat. The ball boy is usable for that.
10. Do: Treat the ball boy like your own towel. Like I said, that’s what he’s there for.
11. Don’t: Be humble. SHOW THE BALL BOY WHO IS BOSS.
12. Do: Chest bump and act victorious. There are no sore winners. ONLY SORE LOSERS.
13. The End.
- The final four remaining Oregon wildlife refuge occupiers have surrendered to the FBI, ending a 40-day protest.
- Southern California Gas said the massive natural gas leak that forced thousands of residents from their homes is now under control.
- Time for Democratic presidential debate number six: Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders will face each other in Wisconsin tonight 🇺🇸