Aubrey Plaza’s Deadpanning 28 Times

But she’s also really really funny, so here are 28 funny things she said. Happy birthday Aubrey!! posted on

1. “Amy said she trusted me, that I would know the right thing to say on her behalf. So… on behalf of Amy, I want to thank the devil and all the dark lords!”

2. “I was an intern for Samba Post-Its and one day my job was to literally wallpaper a bathroom with Post-Its.”

3. ” I don’t know. Am I famous? Sometimes I get really great shampoo for free.”

4. ” I’m lucky if I don’t spend the entire day watching Bravo and staring at the wall.”

5. “I worked myself until I was hospitalized, which is how I like to do it. I like to just blow it out until I’m almost dead.”

6. “I’m too awkward to date, I think. I’m kind of all or nothing, you know? Either put a baby inside of me or leave me alone.”

7. “I’m terrible at time traveling.”

8. “I went to Catholic school, so a plaid skirt, a button-down, and leather shoes were all I know. That’s still how I dress.”

9. “I have been obsessed with Judy Garland since I was 12.”

10. “Old people can go fuck themselves”

11. ” I wish I was fluent [in Spanish]. My family speaks to me in Spanish, and I respond in English.”

12. “The more stuff I do the more free stuff I get, which is kind of nice.”

14. “I feel like I’m peaking now — maybe I should just call it and quit!”

15. “I might go back to seventh grade and tell myself not to wear those chain ball necklaces or those JNCO jeans that were really wide.”

16. “Fuck you old people, I’m going to live forever!”

17. ” The more naked Shia [Labeouf] we can see, the better.”

18. “Delaware is so fucking weird, but so great.”

19. “I’m always like, “I think I’m just gonna play Boulder Dash with my friends and then watch Battlestar Galactica.”

20. “Me and Miley Cyrus have so much in common. It’s crazy.”

21. “If Nas Approves, I approve”

22. “The thing about me is that it looks like there’s just a storm brewing… It’s a smoke and mirrors. It’s an illusion. There’s nothing happening in here. I know nothing.”

23. “I was definitely a weirdo. I don’t know where it came from. It just kind of happened out of nowhere.”

24. “When I was a kid I really wanted to be an old woman.”

25. “I see Nicolas Cage movies. I watch really bad reality television… I know, I’m a disappointment.”

26. “I fell down a mountain yesterday…yeah, I think it was a mountain.”

27. “The Internet is pretty much how I got where I am.”

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