First Child: It was celebrated as if no one on this earth had ever had a baby before.
Second Child: Lots of cards, but where the bassinets at?
First Child: You documented your baby bump’s growth every. Single. Day.
First Child: QUEEN OF PRENATAL WORKOUTS!
First Child: That kid somehow barely even sneezed the first year of their life.
Second Child: Your two kids gave each other the sniffles like it was their day job.
First Child: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE BABY WITHOUT TAKING A SHOWER AND DISINFECTING EVERYTHING.
Second Child: “Take them. Please. I love them, but give me five minutes of peace.”
First Child: Barely a single drop of sauce touched the high chair without you wiping it up.
Second Child: Spaghetti night means sauce in the most unlikely places (and you’re unfazed).
First Child: “Baby Beluga” stained your brain and every waking thought.
First Child: YOU CAN NEVER BUY ENOUGH TINY SHOES!
Second Child: Hand-me-downs? Yup.
Baby boy (9-12 months) standing in adult’s shoes, holding stuffed toy