How To Survive High School, As Told By “Heathers,” “Jawbreaker,” And “Mean Girls”

As graduation approaches, give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve made it through another year of hell.

1. Keep up with current trends.

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2. Reapply makeup as needed.

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3. But never go to the bathroom unattended.

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4. Pick up on the latest slang.

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5. And avoid the slang that no one’s using.

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6. Don’t admit your weaknesses.

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7. Accept that you will have bad days.

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8. And keep your feelings to yourself.

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9. But do find time for a little romance.

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10. Always use protection.

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11. Don’t try to figure the mean girls out.

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12. And don’t underestimate them either.

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13. Teenagers are THE WORST.

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14. Respect the social hierarchy.

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15. And know your place.

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16. But if you want to beat the in-crowd, you may have to join their ranks.

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17. Do whatever it takes to change your image.

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18. Act the part, even if that means treating everyone around you like crap.

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19. Accept that you now hate everyone you hang out with.

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20. They’ll never treat you with kindness.

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21. And you’ll never actually be friends.

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22. You really just have to tolerate each other for a while.

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23. Once you’re at the top, carry yourself with confidence.

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24. Turn your faults into a positive.

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25. Always act like you’re in control, even when you’re not.

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26. And be self-aware enough to realize when you’re in too deep.

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27. When you’re tired of being someone you’re not, rediscover your true self.

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28. Own your unconventional appearance.

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29. Stand up to your former oppressors.

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30. And through it all, keep smiling.

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31. Always remember that there is life after high school.

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32. So focus on the future.

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33. One day people will appreciate you for who you are.

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34. Besides, the Queen Bee gets her comeuppance in the end.

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35. Just make sure you learn a valuable lesson. The worst four years of your life can’t have been for nothing.

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36. And remember what really matters: you survived.

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