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For Everyone Who Is Attracted To Zach Woods

You’ve seen him on Silicon Valley, Playing House, Veep, The Office, The Good Wife, and your weird improv-centric sexual fantasies.

1. OK, so maybe Zach Woods isn’t the most conventionally handsome guy out there.

 

2. He’s tall and lanky and awkward.

 

3. He can be a little intense around the eyes.

 

4. All right, a lot of intense.

 

5. And he doesn’t always make the most attractive faces.

6. It doesn’t help that the characters he plays are generally kind of creepy.

7. But the thing not enough people realize is that Zach Woods is actually suave as hell.

 

8. Like, deceptively so.

9. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

 

10. That awkwardness is actually… really charming?

 

11. His eyes get big, sure, but they’re kind of really pretty.

 

12. Those same soulful eyes can heal.

 

13. That intensity is actually exuberance, a far more attractive quality!

 

14. He can even own those skeletal features.

15. HE JUST NEEDS TO BE HELD.

16. Frankly it’s weird if you DON’T want to hug him.

18. Lucky for us, there’s plenty of Zach Woods to go around. I mean, he’s on every goddamn show.

19. And now we can all bask in his glory.

20. Just remember — you can look, but you can’t touch.

 

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