22 Distressing Life Lessons From "Grease"

Drop out of school now: You can learn everything you need to know from this classic movie musical.

1. Smoking is cool.

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2. Greasy hair is a good thing.

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3. It’s OK to kiss and tell, as long as it’s in song.

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4. Cynicism is the coolest.

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5. Walk with your breasts pushed forward, no matter how awkward it feels.

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6. Men are rats.

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7. You can blow smoke in a teacher’s face without consequences.

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8. Seriously, though. If you want to look cool, you should smoke.

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9. There is nothing more shameful than being a virgin.

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10. Your friends are just waiting till you leave the room to make fun of you.

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11. The only thing cooler than smoking is smoking while drinking.

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12. Be slutty now, before you’re too old.

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13. Hickies aren’t tacky and embarrassing.

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14. Your guardian angel will show up once you screw up your life sufficiently.

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15. It’s not OK for two men to express affection toward one another.

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17. A happy ending means changing yourself and compromising your morals for a guy.

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18. And compromise is him taking off his leather jacket.

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19. If a boy really likes you, he’ll act insane for several minutes.

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20. And all your friends will join in!

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21. Cars can fly.

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22. Anyway, are you smoking yet?

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