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    29 Rules For Having An Awesome Birthday

    Even if it isn't your birthday, you should party like it is. Ranked in order of importance.

    29. Patience is a virtue. Don't start celebrating too early or you'll tire yourself out.

    28. Even if you're not surprised, have the good grace to ACT surprised.

    27. It's okay. Candles are normal. Just blow them out.

    26. Hats can be difficult. For this reason, they are strictly optional past the age of 10.

    25. Don't get drunk before the festivities. No matter how old you're turning.

    24. Make sure they get your best side in all the photos. Lighting, lighting, lighting.

    23. Have enough refreshments for everyone. The last thing you need is a vicious frosting fracas.

    22. Be excited, but not TOO excited. You may get spit all over your cake.

    21. Don't steal someone else's cake, you birthday whore.

    20. Oh, so you're a year older. So what? Don't pout.

    19. Age with dignity. Again, the hat is purely up to you.

    18. It's okay to preen a little on your birthday.

    17. Don't complain about the gifts/cake/etc. If you must complain, complain about the weather/being so freaking old.

    16. An intimate gathering of friends can be just as fun as a raging kegger. Though you and I both know the pictures won't be nearly as interesting.

    15. Do not celebrate with imaginary/fictional friends in the confines of your apartment. If you're gonna celebrate, do it right, dammit. At least order takeout and make chitchat with the delivery guy.

    14. Whether or not you wear embarrassing birthday paraphernalia is up to you – but remember that pictures on Facebook last forever and never die.

    13. Everyone is allowed to be swanky on their birthdays. Never forget this.

    12. Sometimes parties are a pain. Maybe just go out to dinner if you cannot handle letting your lunatics – er, friends – into your apartment.

    11. Cupcakes are a totally legit alternative to cake.

    10. SMILE. It's your birthday, dammit.

    9. Again... hats. Like... really think about it before you make a decision.

    8. Contrary to popular beliefs, piñatas are fun at any age. The only difference is making sure you're inebriated before you start swinging. Hilarity/danger ensues!

    7. If your friends made you a cake, be gracious and EAT IT. Even if it's the worst. That's what being an adult is. Yay!

    6. Even if it's your birthday, it's polite to wait until others begin eating before doing so yourself.

    5. No counting calories. It's your birthday.

    4. At a certain age, opening gifts in front of people can be mortifying. You do not have to do this.

    3. Having a hard time eating? Take off your elaborate birthday costume. And AGAIN. RETHINK THE HAT.

    2. Nobody is too big or small to have a birthday celebration.

    And the most important rule of all...

    1. Celebrate with the people who make you feel loved.