Why Is Urban Outfitters Bringing Back The WORST Of The '80s And '90s?

    Oh do we ever have answers.

    1. Because they really want to see you fall.

    2. Because when you wear these earrings, your hair and your troll doll's hair will become one.

    3. Because you'd love to pay five times the amount you originally paid for the sweatshirt you bought at Wal-Mart and wore every day of third grade.

    4. Because this is actually highbrow, right? Like, a concept shirt based on your childhood sheets. It's almost Warholian.

    5. Because Dr. Martens are not '90s enough alone; they deserve a coating of crushed velvet.

    6. Because they believe you might be foolishly nostalgic enough to bring back the Candie's style.

    7. Because Hot Topic had some deadstock they needed to unload.

    8. Because L.A. Gear had some deadstock to unload.

    9. Because remember how amazing you were at drawing fake rings on your fingers?

    10. Because velvet overalls are just so confusingly ugly, that you might just be peer-pressured into thinking they're cool.

    11. Because YAAYYY Blossom Russo?

    12. Because a;woeirjadkf.

    13. Because, no, these aren't the bindis you wore in the late '90s. Urban has rebranded them as "face gems." That's tooootally different.

    14. Because...I don't even know why.